Popular web site Bomis.com beat Wall Street analysts' consensus first-quarter earnings estimates with a stick, it was reported today.

The San Diego-based company surprised market watchers by whacking earnings estimates repeatedly before a crowd of bewildered onlookers. The market had been anticipating pro forma net income of 18 cents per share, but was completely unprepared for the stick-beating that was delivered instead.

According to Charles Thoren, of Charles Thoren and Associates, "In the past, Bomis has neither spoken softly nor carried a big stick, which makes today's incident all the more alarming." Thoren later downgraded Bomis from "hold" to "duck!"

According to analysts, this incident will substantially raise Bomis.com's beta number, previously at a staid 0.71, possibly into double digits. Beta is a measure of a company's market volatility.

Bomis.com, a member of numerous international conspiracies, is a popular web site that is visited by more than 2.5 million people, and shows more than 60 million pages, every month.