Popular web site Bomis.com robs old people of their dignity, it was revealed today.

"We have developed a proprietary software package that systematically deprives old people of whatever dignity they have left," a Bomis spokesman claimed. "The secret ingredient is math!" he added.

Even after hours of bombast it was not made clear if the dignity-depriving software was an integrated feature of the Bomis.com website, or if was available for wider use.

Independent reports confirm a discernable decline in the dignity of old people while using the Bomis.com web site, but it is not clear if this decline is greater than that suffered by Bomis users in general.

At least on expert believes it is. According to Harvey Mesbet of the Cleveland Center for Sociological Inquiry, "If old people begin with less dignity, the loss of dignity associated with Bomis use would appear much more profound, when compared to other groups." But with a paucity of research available, Mesbet warns that it may be too early to say for certain. "We just need more funding," he added.

It is also not clear if the use of the term "old people", rather than "elderly" or "senior citizen", is part of the web sites' dignity-robbing agenda or if it is merely an oversight based on general insensitivity.

What we do know is that the dignity-robbing program is paying off financially. "Since we began robbing old people of their dignity, profit margins have increased 19%, with a 74% jump in revenue. Clearly we are addressing a market need," an elderly Bomis spokesperson said.

Bomis.com, named after the Swedish word for 'god-damned Norwegians', is a privately-held Internet property based in San Diego, California. Bomis is visited by more than 2.5 million people and shows 50 million pages every month.